Japaneasy

I'm writing this from a small box five floors up in Hong Kong (well some of it is being written in a much bigger room in the Philippines as I ran out of time and wifi for 5 days so, yeah sorry about that). Apparently it's what the locals call a "bedroom", but I'm fairly sure most people would know it as a bathroom with attached storage area. Still, it serves the purpose, although I assume for Bec it's like sharing a cushion with a rhino.

The second week in Japan was full of highlights, most notably not Kinosaki onsen. While the town was absolutely lovely, neither Bec nor I felt hugely like spending large periods of time bathing with other naked people (GB's stag covered that nicely I think), which is sort of the point of onsen life. In fact the open plan shared showers in the hotel were probably good enough on that front. And by probably I obviously mean definitely..

A clog wearing couple making their way to the next onsen

 Our next stop was Hiroshima, which was full of surprises. It was the most modern of all the cities we visited in Japan, for obvious reasons, but it was also the most western, and the most colourful. A highlight for me was bumping into the Hiroshima Lightning basketball team, one of whom was a 6'11 Bahamian who doesn't realise how close he came to being hugged by a random Englishman who hadn't really looked into a single face in almost a month. Bec also found her first proper wine bar here, so was naturally deeply enamoured with the place.

The A-Bomb dome - one of only a handful of buildings left standing within 2km of the blast site and now preserved as a reminder

Near to Hiroshima is Miyajima, an island featuring the famous "floating" torii gate. The island is filled with temples and the associated purveyors of Japan's finest tat, as well as numerous deer ('cheeky deer') who will eat anything out of your hand given half a chance. The island also has a few walkways to the summit of the main hill, which gave Bec the chance for a leisurely stroll to the top, while I battled death himself to make it to the same spot. Yet I'm still carrying the bag. I'm doing something wrong here aren't I?

View from the top of Miyajima looking out into Hiroshima's island studded bay

Some of the many Mani Wheels found on the island. If they work Bec will be having prayers answered for years to come...

Some lovely behatted statues. I should look into why they're wearing hats, but don't want to be disappointed by the answer

The Great Torii at Miyajima - Think great might be overegging the pudding somewhat but it's very nice certainly

Bec (on the left) with one of the tame deer who is clearly bored with her presence due to the lack of edible material in her hand

 After Hiroshima we headed to Kyoto, our final destination before catching the flight to Hong Kong. Kyoto was apparently known as "The city of Ten Thousand Shrines". We can believe it. At times it felt like you were on a temple themed treasure hunt, but where the end prize had been given away to one of the other 100,000 contestants who were walking around with you. This is despite the fact that it rained heavily every day. Still, at least it meant I could practice my brolly posing:

They don't even smell really

Instead of posting all the temples (so many temples) I've been a saint and limited myself to just posting some of the better examples so that I don't get sent death threats from anyone who ends up wading through them all:

Disclaimer: In every photo I obviously tried to find an angle which hid most of the people from view. Please don't think there weren't hundreds of people just out of shot because there were

Kyomiza-dera - $5 entry (or 1$ for every time you get an umbrella to the face)

Nanzen-ji. Probably. No idea really. Nice garden though isn't it?

I'M SO ZEN RIGHT NOW. I mean Ginkaku-ji's zen garden/poorly raked bunker

Kinkaku-ji. This photo is a huge misrepresentation. There are thousands of people around me and the temple looks not nearly as nice in person. Still, the photo looks good right?

Ryoan-ji's famous zen garden. Bec loved it. I thought it could've done with some nicely mown grass, maybe a five-a-side goal or two, a referee, Wes Hoolahan...

Can't remember. Just seemed fitting that the cherry-blossom season was ending just as we were about to leave. Also I'm sure the more arty amongst you can find so much meaning or something about the new and the old. I can't so...

Fushimi-Inari-taisha. Basically loads of torii gates places all over a hill. I'm sure this symbolises something but I was too busy looking like a dick

A bamboo forest. It was lovely.

After all that hard work we relaxed in a small local restaurant where Bec discovered whatever brand of sake this is in the photo below. I think I had to take this photo just so that she would be able to recognise it if we stumbled across it again. She certainly wasn't going to remember it otherwise.

Slightly flushed cheeks and an empty bottle

To balance things out here's me looking super excited in front of some rock samples which adorn some of the columns outside Kyoto station:

I obviously needed this so I could find the rocks again later if I stumbled across them...

On our last day in Kyoto we had time to take a Japanese cooking course, before catching our flight to Hong Kong after lunch. I'm looking forward to making a complete hash of everything we learnt once we get back to the UK, and maybe killing off some of our closest friends by inviting them round to try it.

The work tables weren't very high

Guess which was mine, and which was Bec's. You'll never guess*

 (*You'll totally guess)

 After an uneventful flight, our first day in Hong Kong was stunning, with clear skies and mid-20 degree weather. As a result Bec decided she wanted to go to do the cable car on a nearby island which takes you up to a big budda statue. Only the lines were very long, so to save time we agreed to go take a glass bottomed one which had shorted queues (and cost more..). One panic attack later we reached the top to discover that Starbucks and the rest had beaten us to it. Unless you like very large Budda statues, this is probably something best avoided. Although it was so bad it was quite funny.

Ferry to discovery bay

Glass bottomed cable car - The only time I got Bec to take her feet off the metal strip to the side.

Bec trying out her new Budda pose

In the afternoon we headed back to the city and walked up Victoria Peak (I floundered, Bec ran, I hate her more with every step). It's easily my favourite place in Hong Kong, mostly because it gives your senses a rest from the full on assault they receive at street level.

The well practiced selfie

The last two days in Hong Kong were slightly different, with heavy pollution and low clouds turning it into a much less picturesque city. On the plus side it provided the perfect opportunity for some tedious admin (haircuts/shopping/climbing Victoria Peak again despite the fact that it was in the cloud and therefore a pointless trip/ etc). We also managed to fit in time to visit the Avenue of the Stars attraction in Kowloon. I last went 5 years ago and it's lost absolutely none of it's charm. Of course if you don't have any to start with that tends to make things easier. Still we found this statue there:

Good times

 Also Bec met her idol Bow Fong which was nice. Weirdly his square seemed to be generally ignored. God knows why.

By the end we were pleased to be getting out and heading off to the Philippines (where we've already spent a week. I really need to catch up...)

Until next time,

Rob&Bec

In Japain

Our first week in Japan has been slightly overshadowed by a prolongued flu style thing (hence the horrible pun in the title). The positive was that we could cough at anyone we liked, as most are wearing those protective face masks. Seeing that you're still allowed to smoke in most restaurants here, I'm not entirely sure they've quite developed a foolproof sickness beating system yet though.

Having landed just outside Tokyo* we took the 80's style sci-fi monorail into town, which takes you into town a number of stories above street-level. Thanks to our flight landing at 5am we had a number of hours to kill, so headed to Ueno Park nearby to look at the cherry-blossoms which, fortunately, were in full bloom:
(*I'm still to be convinced that there is an official end to Tokyo, pretty sure that, like the universe, it's more of a theory that it stops somewhere.)

So damn arty

I'll explain those tarps in a bit

Godzilla sighting?

Bec entering the 6am cherry-blossom rush

You though we were out of arty shots?

We knew that cherry-blossom season was taken seriously here, but I guess neither of us had considered exactly what form that passion would take. Apparently the process is for a member of your group to turn up early (that was 6/7am above and most of the good spots were taken so you need to get there before then ideally), so that they can save your picnic spot with a tarp before awaiting the rest of the group....about 10-12 hours later. That's a long day just to cram in 3 hours of drinking under the trees (you have to have wrapped up by 8pm(ish)). Still, apparently it was enough time for one group to hold a talent show, featuring a group of middle aged men in nude bodysuits (with fig leaves over necessary areas) doing what looked like their version of the YMCA. It's pretty much the only public fun we've seen people having.

Oh, apart from when posing for photos. Bec has been so impressed by their array of poses that she's taken it upon herself to follow suit:

The undoubted highlight in Tokyo was our visit to Tsukiji (yeah I googled that, so what?) Fish Market, which has all the controlled chaos one would expect for a fishmarket catering to a city of 13+ million fish lovers.

Also we got to see a massive tuna get quartered for the surrounding stalls. I spent a lot of time convincing myself that we probably didn't need a 6ft tuna knife at home. I still haven't fully succeeded though....

Who knew a tuna took 4 men to cut?

 Sadly Bec was so impressed with the whole process that she fell in love and ran off with another 2m long male. I guess there really are many more fish in the ocean...(although not for long at the rate they were heading through Tsukiji...)

Fun under the cherry-blossoms aside, I'm convinced that we've stumbled across yet another city where people have been replaced by Apple's new humanoid 2.0 system. I've had to look closely but believe there are a few tell-tale signs:

1. No pushing in queues, even underground during the morning commute. Everyone walks in their own position and doesn't look to overtake or force people to walk faster. This is clearly inhuman
2. You get the same smiling welcome and goodbye in every restaurant you enter, from every employee. As people are entering and leaving almost all the time, this leads to those salutations being repeated roughly once every 84 seconds (I have a chart which proves this if you want it). No human could do that and not destroy everything they loved
3. The (younger) women don't feel the cold. They wear shorts in near freezing temperatures while I recently found that the small adventure shop moving along-side me was actually Bec hidden under 31 layers of thermal (and breathable, everything must be breathable) clothing. Unless they're Geordies, which I'm yet to prove they aren't I guess, the only possible explanation is a programming error.
4. There are vending machines everywhere, including as a way to order in some restaurants. Humans, and human interactions are clearly being fazed out.
5. Everything is substance over style. We humans are shallow, vain creatures. And yet 90% of all cars in Japan appear to be, more or less, a box with wheels attached. One brand is even called the Box. This offensive practicality must not be allowed to spread. I really don't want to end up driving a box around.

The positive which has come out of this evil programme has been the invention of the "are you thirsty game?". If you answer yes to the question then the other person can get you the drink of their choice from the nearest vending machine. All I can say is that Strawberry milk tea is as bad as it sounds.

From Tokyo we made our way to Kanazawa, via Hiroya, a thermal spa town stuck high up in the Japanese Alps. Highlight: we saw monkeys. Lowlight: I had a really nice Easter dinner booked which almost ended our relationship.

Monkey!

Bec acting like she's not really, really cold

The private outdoor thermal spring. Pretty sure we came out medium rare

So to the dinner. I thought it would be nice to celebrate Easter with a traditional Japanese 8 course dinner after a long day's travelling. This was a mistake...

1. We weren't hungry
2. We were both feeling awful
3. What was on the table when we started looked more than enough
4. The table was a lie. There were at least 6 courses still waiting in the kitchen
5. These heavily featured what appeared to a form of congealed phlegm not often served in Japanese food back home
6. Everything appeared to be made with fish paste

 As a result Bec went from super happy:

Seriously, look how happy she was despite feeling terrible

To this in the space of a couple of minutes. That is the look of a woman who is genuinely considering the possibility that the next mouthful could be the one which puts her off Japanese food forever.

I sat opposite this face for over an hour. Never has a decision of mine been so judged by anyone involved in it...

I also made the mistake of booking a Japanese style room, thinking this would be a nice experience. The comment of "why is our bed in the cupboard?" when we walked in told me this might be another error of judgment. Thankfully I think she took to sleeping on a mattress on the floor pretty well, although I'm not sure either of us fully got the hang of exactly how you get comfy on a rock hard rice pillow. My neck hates me.

Thankfully despite these misjudgements I was mostly forgiven by the time we got to Kanazawa...

 where we've spent two days wandering around enjoying a version of Japan which is much closer to what I think most people would expect. From the overbearing grey of Tokyo, Kanazawa is filled with much more character, including beautiful gardens, restored or remade historic houses and temples, and hundreds of museums

I still have serious hat envy

Worst posing ever

Chelsea flower show gold winning garden #1

#2

#3 (Featuring the rare pole tree)

Also it has a 21st century modern art museum, of which one of the main exhibits is "Architecture for dogs". This includes the below design, entitled "Chihuahua cloud":

Does it turn into a butterfly?

In other news Bec has travelled from Brobdingnag to Lilliput, and is now lording it over all the short people:

While I, and this will shock you, I simply do not fit. At all.

The one size fits all shoes outside most traditional buildings are my current nemesis

3 rooms. 3 showers. 3 lovely neck washes.

Finally a tally of the key stats from this week:
Godzilla sightings: 0
Times Bec has complained that the toilets have heated seats: 3
Times Bec has complained that her seat wasn't heated: 1 (how people change...)
Ultimatums issued about potential future hotel dinners: 1
Bad fortunes received by Bec at temples: 1
Good luck things she's done at said temples to rectify this: 4
Times I've hit my head: $irmrrewfSCC]cC
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I mean 8, 9? Seriously I've no idea. All I know is that the top of my head is very sore to the touch.

This next week could be my last if I keep forgetting to duck, and then duck a little bit more.

Will I survive repeated head trauma? Will Bec's newfound size go to her head? Will we end up driving home in boxes? Stay tuned for the next edition...

x
Rob&Bec